Lady Gaga is upset "discostick" didn't get there first. "Bootylicious" is being added to the Oxford English Dictionary.Brittany Muphy's mother and husband hit the press circuit last night, saying they believe drugs were not at play in Brittany's death: "She was just high on life." The toxicology reports still aren't back on her autopsy.Heidi will have to compete with Real Housewives of New York's Kelly Bensimon for Playboy: Kelly plans to "show what sexy looks like at 41" in March's issue, with the help of photographer ex Gilles Bensimon.The clip below is but one brief clip from this seminal Frost/Nixon-like interview. If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's." She also says she's ready for another Playboy shoot. Billy: "Some would say you rejected God's creation." Heidi: "Or maybe God gave me extra." She continues, "We blessed to even have this surgery that we have. First, fuzzy lighting and soft piano: "I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did." (How has this not come up before?) Billy Bush asks her to move her face, which is funny, because he can't move his, either. As horrifying as Heidi Montag's plastic surgery-related attention grab is, this Access Hollywood segment is too trippy to skip.It was one of the worst times of my life." At least he'll always have his right hand. On breaking up with Jennifer Aniston: "I've never really gotten over it. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off." That last part is pretty astute. I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. "I am the new generation of masturbator," says John Mayer in Rolling Stone, for which he posed shirtless.John Mayer: "The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating." Heidi Montag: "If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's." Kelly Bensimon's Playboy shoot: "What sexy looks like at 41." Wednesday's gossip roundup is highly quotable.
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